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Every woman needs to have the best attitude to the life change called menopause, especially if she is working. When experiencing it, menopause affects every aspect of your life. You’re not the same as you were! You’re even better!!!! Menopause is your evolutionary graduation. I can’t promise that it’ll be easy. Just promising that whatever you’re going through is an opportunity to make upgrades in your life path.
Consider me your Menopause Godmother here to guide you through your perimenopause, or menopause stage. Wherever you are in the process, I have been in the same vicinity. I am here to help you to turn menopause and midlife into a positive experience.
Why listen to me? Well menopause was the shot the fired me into a whole new world. Those hormone shifts took me from being a quiet, easy-going lady to a independent, self-starting woman unwilling to put up with lack of respect. I left my youth director career of 12-years one day and left my 22-year marriage the next day.
Oh yeah. It needed to happen. So don’t get scared that it’ll happen to you.
How much of that was about physical hormones and how much was about emotional midlife? I can’t be sure, but I know that menopause is a signal that the body is not forever young.
Your fertility ability is going, or gone, and you’d better be thinking of how you want the rest of your life to go. When the hormones took a hike, I started to question everything. Did I want the second chapter to go as the first?
In this Second Stage of Life, it is such a holy time that affects you physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. Whether you go through a lot or a little, you are still going through a menopause metamorphosis. So, embrace it.
Whether you like it or not, you have to change at menopause. You change physically, and that affects you mentally and emotionally. You start thinking different thoughts about those physical changes. And you start to feel differently about yourself because of the physical and mental changes.
You have some control over those first three. For example:
The Physical.
Things are better than women had all those centuries before me. There are now medicines and supplements you can take now to soften the symptoms. Doctors are more willing now to help women with symptoms.
The Mental
What you think affects your feeling and your body. Keep focused on the fact that these symptoms will change.
The Emotional
Emotions change according to what you think. Choose your feelings. Don’t be at the effect of emotions. If depression is part of your menopause, get help with that. If not, this is a good time to work with mastery of emotions.
It can be a wild ride to metamorphosis. Menopause was a long time ago for me. While it had its challenges, it was the best of times with the greatest growth time. For me it was transformative and changed the direction of my life. I was a wife and mother when I started in menopause. When it was done with me, I was a self-directed woman with two businesses and two volunteer projects going all at the same time.
Some parts can be challenging, and you are up to it. It’s all meant for good. It helps to know that is what is happening. It goes beyond the physical level. This time is sacred. In some societies, this is considered a venerated time in a woman’s life. When you exchange two letters in the word sacred, you get the word scared. So, ask yourself: Do I want to be experiencing the sacred, or the scared?
Let’s look at the four areas.
First, the physical.
The physical changes are the outward symbol that your body is changing. Why is it OK that it is changing? You don’t want to get pregnant any later in life. You’d put the baby down and forget where you put her. Fortunately, the female body wasn’t made for that. We live several decades after menopause. Nature reserved woman for our wisdom.
Can you have the sacred with physical pain or discomfort? Yes. That can be. What do you think childbirth is? All fun and ease? Then again, some people give birth with relative speed and effortlessness and some women go through menopause with ease. Most of us don’t, though. And, we all survive. You’ll be fine.
The important thing about menopause is what it means to you. It could depress you because it means the end of child-bearing, so you’re no longer a young woman. Or, it could uplift you because it means the end of child-bearing and freedom from periods. It can mean that now you’re a blooming goddess in your own right. What I hope it means to you is that you have evolved. You have stepped into the path of you being a Wise Woman. You’re an evolved being with your own purpose to fulfill your mission beyond child bearing and raising. You’re now a butterfly inwardly. Your actions are more likely to be transformed.
2 - 3. Mental-Emotional Aspect
When I was a teen way back in the Stone Age, the word menopause was used by males to shame females. The message was that someday you were going to go through this embarrassing time that was awful physically and emotionally. You’d be barren. Of course, having a period was also embarrassing. Everything natural had to be hidden, which means it was unacceptable. The female body was unacceptable and you couldn’t do anything about those changes. Don’t listen to any of that.
For me, the physical symptoms were manageable. I was lucky. Where menopause affected me were with emotional symptoms. What I hadn’t dealt with, showed up then as a serious problem. My hormones weren’t willing to tolerate what I endured before. When I took action, I wasn’t sure who I was. By questioning everything at this turning point, I made better choices, I thought different thoughts. That process led to feeling altered feelings.
Menopause comes at a time many women are in the process of being an empty-nestor. It’s also a time when women are finished with being overlooked in their marriage, and in their career.
So, to transform menopause, be curious about the life changes you are experiencing. Do an inventory. How can your changes go from unwelcome to metamorphosis? What is it you having been unwilling to face? What no longer works for you? How do you want to live your second phase?
You likely will have more motivation to act. Maybe it is that your spirit knows you are evolving physically. It’s like moving into a new house that’s suitable for a new life chapter. You can’t go back to the old house, that is: your body, mind and emotions. Your spirit gives you the urge to emotionally evolve. That way you don’t take the old baggage with you.
Where I wasn’t standing up for myself, I suddenly began. After a few months of night sweats, I gave my 2-weeks’ notice to my underpaying employer. The next day, with great compassion, I told my husband I was leaving. What? You’re surprise. I was, too. I didn’t see it coming.
Yet, I knew then, it was a necessary change. Was it fun? No, but I moved ahead listening to my intuition. I began to see my way through the challenges of attaining another job and obtaining a place to live. Things fell into place. What I discovered was that my emotional strength was greater than I ever imagined. In addition, I realized I had needs. I started thinking more of my future. What did I want for my Second Act? Re-thinking my choices, I understood was that I had a mission and only I could fulfill it.
You know what? It all turned out. Don’t be afraid that you’ll go through such change. Many women breeze through menopause. My story is an extreme example of having to go through a lot to transform myself. Still, I’m not sorry about anything.
4. The Spiritual part is the last, but not the least.
This is a time to listen to your intuition. In my example, I had done what I knew I had to do in leaving, and discovering, all the while doing it with care and kindness. Still, until I did it, I did not know I had it in me to handle it all with grace. My husband and I remained friends.
Did I automatically know what to do next? My conscious mind wasn’t smart enough to know what to do. I had to take one step at a time. I had to hear the inner directions by being open to what showed up. I had to learn patience, which was hard for me. Trusting the universe was not something I instinctively knew how to do.
Still, the universe had my back every step of the way. I’m sure it is that way for you, too.
Besides bringing transformative physical, emotional, and mental life altering changes, menopause offers an invitation to evolve spiritually. How you handle this time can change life's trajectory for your highest good.
The invitation that menopause is spiritually, takes on a metamorphosis that rivals the butterfly’s physical changes. Best to you, in your journey.
Meet the expert:
Marifran’s struggling marriage before, and during, menopause caused her to switch careers and leave her marriage. Now, Marifran Korb coaches women Empty-Nesters, desiring a deeper connection with their spouse. She assists them in creating a plan for their midlife partnership.
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