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Your Strength Is Your Superpower—Until It Isn’t
- Natalie Petersen
- Mar 6
- 5 min read
Why Strengths Can Become Weaknesses
There’s a lesson I carry with me that was first gifted by my late mentor, Andi Burgis:
A strength overused becomes a weakness.
At first, I didn’t want to believe it. Strengths are strengths, right? We spend our whole damn lives being told to work harder, care more, and be everything to everyone.
We are praised for being:
● Strong women who never let anything break us.
● Hard workers who can “handle it all.”
● Support systems for everyone around us.
But let’s talk about hustle and “having-it-all” culture, because that it. is. exhausting!
It tells us:
● “If you want it bad enough, you’ll find a way.” (…but at what cost?)
● “A strong woman never quits!” (…even when quitting is the healthiest option.)
● “You should be able to balance work, family, self-care, friendships, and keep the house spotless.” (Oh, should I? Thanks, Boo.)
We have glorified burnout and called it ambition.
And then one day, you wake up and realize that the very thing that made you successful is now breaking you.
At first, this idea landed in my career—sales, leadership, managing teams. But now, decades later, I’m watching it show up in an entirely new way—with my 16-year-old son.
This young man just got his driver’s license. He just had his first interview. And he is standing at the edge of life’s wide-open highway, ready to floor it.
To him, every trait, every skill, every effort feels like an open road. No potholes yet. No flat tires. No hard lessons in what happens when you take a curve too fast. So when we sat down to prep for his interview, he worked hard to answer my mock questions. After nailing down a short but mighty list of what he brings to the employment table as a young human, I hit him with this: Every strength has a breaking point.
● Motivation overused? You become exhausted trying to prove yourself. You say yes when you mean no. You push past your own limits because you don’t want to be seen as lazy, weak, or less than.
● Collaboration overused? You prioritize everyone else’s needs over your own. You water
yourself down to make sure everyone else is comfortable.
● Reliability overused? You become the default person to fix everything—at home, at work, in friendships. You’re stretched so thin, you can barely breathe.
Sound familiar? Let’s go deeper.
When Your Strength Starts Running You
1. Perfectionism Overused: The Never-Ending Checklist
Women are told we have to be smart, successful, kind, emotionally intelligent, attractive, and effortlessly put together—all at once.
Example: You’re a perfectionist because you want to be great. But suddenly, you’re:
● Rewriting other people’s work because it “wasn’t quite right.”
● Overcommitting to work, home, friendships, everything.
● Spending hours on details no one else would notice because it has to be perfect.
Perfectionism doesn’t just slow you down—it makes you miserable.
2. Emotional Strength Overused: You’re Tired of Holding It All
Women are praised for being emotionally strong, but that often means absorbing everyone else’s pain.
Example: You are the “strong friend”—the one people turn to when they need support. But:
● You never ask for help.
● You listen, but don’t feel heard.
● You are carrying emotions that don’t even belong to you.
Strength is amazing—until it isolates you.
3. Boundaries Overused: From Self-Care to Isolation
We’re finally talking about boundaries, and THANK GOD for that. But if you’re not careful, boundaries can turn into walls that keep you lonely.
Example: You used to say yes to everything, now you say no to everything.
● You avoid hard conversations instead of having them.
● You assume people will hurt you, so you cut them off first.
● You tell yourself, “I’m protecting my peace.” But are you? Or are you just avoiding
vulnerability?
True boundaries let the right people in and keep the wrong ones out. Not keep everyone out just in case.
4. Independence Overused: The Lone-Wolf Syndrome
Being independent is empowering - until you convince yourself you don’t need anyone.
Example: You refuse help, even when you’re drowning.
● “I’ve got it.” (…do you?)
● “I don’t want to bother anyone.”
● “I’ll figure it out alone.”
Needing people doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.
What’s Your Strength Doing to You?
It’s easy to spot this in other women:
● The supermom who does it all—until she breaks.
● The boss who never stops working—until burnout takes over.
● The friend who always listens—but never shares her own struggles.
But you? You might need a harder look in the mirror.
1. Name your top 3 strengths.
● What are the things people always say about you?
● What are the things that have made you successful?
● What are the things you’re proud of?
2. Now, be honest—where have they worked against you?
● Has your drive ever made you impossible to work with?
● Has your kindness ever turned you into a doormat?
● Has your confidence ever crossed the line into perfectionism?
3. What would balance look like?
● If you dialed it down by 10%, what would change?
● If you used your strength as a tool instead of a hammer, what would open up for you?
● If you stopped defining yourself so rigidly, what could you allow?
This is where we find our sweet spot—where we still get to be who we are, but without letting our strengths turn into the things that wreck us.
As a writer, speaker, and podcaster, I have begun to implement the 70% Rule (here’s an interesting take) in my efforts and am amazed at the increased flow of creativity and connections I receive by publishing more than I’m worrying!
Strength Is About Control, Not Force
There’s a quote by Lao Tzu that, modified for us women, sums this up perfectly:
“She who conquers others is strong. She who conquers herself is mighty.”
The most powerful women aren’t the ones who push the hardest—they’re the ones who know when to pull back.
So, as you go forward—whether it’s in your career, relationships, motherhood, healing journey, or just trying to be a decent human—ask yourself:
Am I in control of my strengths?
Or are they controlling me?
Because true power isn’t always about more.
Sometimes, it’s about knowing when to set it down and let yourself breathe.
Meet the expert:
Natalie Petersen is a communicator, connector, and challenger of the status quo, with a career spent harnessing the power of storytelling, influence, and impact. As the founder of Healing Curious Humans and host of Think Out Loud With Me, she explores the edges of human experience—where growth, healing, and bold conversations collide. Whether through media, marketing, or movement-building, Natalie’s work is driven by one truth: our greatest strengths, when wielded wisely, become the catalyst for real change.
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